My Breastfeeding Trials - Part I

As I have mentioned before, Gabriel grew very slowly in his first few months of life. This is a fact that is linked to my inability to produce an adequate milk supply for him. I wanted to write about my breastfeeding problem as it happened, but new parenthood, stress, and worries over the issue itself prevented me from doing so. Now, however, I wish to write about it so that it will be out there to help other women who may find themselves in the same situation in which I found myself.

I will start from the beginning. Gabriel was born a normal, healthy, baby boy on August 3, 2007. He weighed in at seven pounds and eleven ounces. He nursed within a half hour after his birth. I met with a lactation consultant, as well as supportive nurses, before leaving the hospital. The first few days of breastfeeding were difficult, but based on what I know about the breastfeeding experiences of other first-time mothers, I do not think that there was anything extraordinarily different about our case. I nursed Gabriel constantly, never going more than two hours between feedings except at night. He received no supplementation, no bottles, no pacifiers, etc. in order to avoid any sort of nipple confusion, supply issue, or other breastfeeding problem.

Gabriel's weight fell to seven pounds at the lowest. At a week-old, Gabriel was declared "healthy and thriving" by the doctor that we took him to. I diligently kept records of his diaper activity for the first month, he was slightly behind at times, but the doctors were never concerned about it. At three weeks old, Gabriel weighed only seven pounds, eight ounces. He was not yet back up to his birth weight. Since I was committed to breastfeeding, and Gabriel was otherwise healthy, his doctor saw no reason for any real concern and I continued with constant breastfeeding. At his next check up when he was about seven weeks old, Gabriel weighed only eight pounds. He was averaging growth of only two ounces per week, rather than the at least four ounces that is preferred. Since everything was well otherwise, Gabriel and I continued breastfeeding exclusively.

I took Gabriel to the doctor several times over the next couple of months. In an attempt to produce more and/or richer milk, I drank mother's milk tea, used a fennel oil rub, and took other herbs that are known to assist in lactation. I also began pumping whenever Gabriel slept while continuing to nurse him constantly. He continued to grow slowly during this time. At three months old, Gabriel weighed in at only one pound over his birth weight, though he continued to be healthy and normal otherwise.

Around bedtime on November 13, 2007, at approximately three and a half months old, Gabriel made it clear that he was hungry. Gabriel was very frustrated at the breast and crying inconsolably, I offered him 2 oz. of formula, he drank 1 oz. and turned into a happy baby again. I did not like giving him the formula, but I felt terrible that he had been crying in hunger. Stressed and crying, I prepared two ounces of formula. He drank one ounce, was instantly happy, and went to sleep easily. I hoped and prayed that formula supplementation would not become a regular part of his diet. My hope was not to be so, however. The next afternoon, Gabriel repeated his hungry baby routine. I knew that, once again, I was out of milk and he was still hungry. This time, he drank down the entire two ounces of formula. I remember feeling awful for making him fuss for so long before giving him the formula, because he settled back into a happy, satisfied baby after drinking the formula.

Following that second formula feeding, I had a minor "break down" of sorts. When I was pregnant I studied breastfeeding, we even took a breastfeeding class at the hospital with a lactation consultant. I was prepared, on some level, for the common breastfeeding set-backs. Since I had read that 95% of women can breastfeed exclusively with few or no problems, I did not consider that I would have any real problem with breastfeeding Gabriel. In fact, I had made a commitment that I would breastfeed exclusively for at least six months, and keep nursing until Gabriel no longer wanted to - which would probably be at least two years. Since formula is somewhat controversial, I really wanted to stay away from it if at all possible. In sum, I had set myself up for a difficult time mentally and emotionally. Eventually, I came to grips with the fact that whatever is necessary to have a happy, healthy baby is an acceptable path when it comes to food - whether "ideal" or not.

Next: My Breastfeeding Trials - Part II, which will bring the story up to present day.

Five Months with Gabriel

As of last Thursday, Gabriel is five months old. It is hard to believe that in less than a month it will have been a half year since he was born, and life as we knew it changed forever, for the better. Time passes so quickly.

Gabriel laughs and gives kisses now. He makes attempts at crawling, and is learning to sit up on his own. Popular opinion holds that he is teething now, and based on the fact that I got my first tooth at five months, it is a possibility. Gabriel has been labeled "fun" officially now. Once again, we think that we are looking at the "best" month yet.

Gabriel continues to grow at rapid speed: he was thirteen pounds and eight ounces on Thursday at his check-up. That means that he gained over three pounds in the last month. A couple of months ago, when Gabriel's already slow weight gain seemed to be tapering off, everyone was hoping and praying for his growth (I plan to write more on this topic when I find the time to do so). Now he is beginning to remind me of Clifford the Big Red Dog, in which Emily Elizabeth prays for Clifford to grow, because he is "too small," then Clifford grows into the biggest dog ever, and Emily Elizabeth eventually tells him that he is big enough and that he can stop growing. We are not about to tell Gabriel to stop growing, but we have told him that he is catching up nicely and that we would not mind if he would slow down on his growth a bit. Even J.R. and I can recognize that he is growing, and we can no longer really call him a "little" baby.

Let me illustrate:


Four months












Five months

We are a little biased, but we think that he is getting more cute and sweet with every day that passes.

My Brothers, My Friends

Growing up, I was very close to my younger brothers. We spent tons of time together, and I acknowledge without hesitation that they were my best friends. Even with the closeness and awesome friendship that I shared with my brothers, I could not help but wonder what it would have been like to have a sister who was in the same age bracket as me - what sister-sister friendship could we have shared?

On Christmas, my brother, Chad, had a surprise for us: he and his girlfriend, Tiffany, were engaged. We were surprised, but not in a shocked sort of way. Chad and I have a special friendship, we even have our own "song." Sure, my brother is even more difficult to get a hold of these days, but we are happy for him. Although we have not seen them interact much since they became a couple (they started seeing each other right around when Gabriel was born, and we have been rather busy with being new parents since that time), we know that Chad and Tiffany get along very well and wish them all of the best.

My history with Tiffany goes back approximately eight years, as her sister, Sarah, is one of my best friends (she was the maid-of-honor in our wedding). Though Tiffany is six years younger than us, she has come to be a good friend over the years as well.




Tiffany, me, and Sarah
Halloween, 2006






My other brother, Adam, is engaged as well. He and his fiancée, Carlie, are planning to be wed in the spring. Like Tiffany, Carlie and I have a history as friends - though I have known Carlie longer. Other than Sarah, Carlie was my only bridesmaid who merited the position predicated on friendship alone.




Carlie and me
June, 2006








So, although I was not blessed with a sister in my age bracket (Miriam and Faustina are sixteen and nineteen years younger than me, respectively), it looks like I am going to be blessed with two sister-in-laws who fit the bill. Two sister-in-laws who were friends with me before they entered into relationships with my brothers.




Adam, me, and Chad
May, 2006








I love my brothers so very much - and I wish for them to have holy and happy marriages. I am looking forward to having more nieces and nephews as well.* Sure, I may not spend nearly as much time with my brothers as I used to these days. As I have learned in my own life, however, love in the human person is not limited, so they ought not love me any less as they prepare for their own marriages. I know that I love each of them just as much now as I ever have, and expect that my feelings will remain the same always. I am not "losing" my brothers, afterall, but gaining two "sisters," two friends.







* I have two nieces and a nephew through J.R.'s family. I would also like to mention that this entry in no way negates the fact that I consider my sister-in-law (J.R.'s sister, Angela) a good friend.

My Baby's First Christmas

Our second Christmas as a married couple has been both enjoyable and full of blessings. We have each other, Gabriel, our families, our friends, our health - and we are not wanting for any item that we ought to have, while we have many things that we do not really need.

J.R. has been feeling a little under the weather lately, so that put a bit of a damper on our Christmas celebrations - but we had a splendid time still. We spent Christmas Eve together at home, it was different (I cannot remember going to a Christmas day mass ever), but immensely enjoyable. We went to mass together as a family on Christmas day, and though it interferred with Gabriel's nap schedule, he was a rather delightful baby for the most part. After mass we opened gifts at home, and in the afternoon we visited each of our respective families. It was different, as neither of our families were able to gather all members: my brother had to work on Christmas day, and J.R.'s sister and her family moved to North Carolina over the past year. Hopefully next year everyone will be able to spend time together for Christmas - it just did not feel "right" to not have all of the family together.

As for Gabriel, he had a splendid Christmas, complete with spoiling from his grandparents, aunts, and uncles. The day itself was a bit much for him with all of the activities in which we partook, but he took a few shortened naps and acted like the sweet little boy that he is.


Gabriel enjoyed his first Christmas, and he continues to enjoy his peacock.

A Fall "Trip"

On the Saturday prior to Thanksgiving J.R.'s maternal grandfather passed away. His grandfather had been battling cancer as well as diabetes, so his death did not come as a surprise. It has been kind of hard on J.R., however. The last time that J.R. saw his grandfather was at our wedding, nearly one and a half years ago, and we had planned on making the trek to North Carolina for a visit over Thanksgiving. The news came that the funeral was planned for the Monday before Thanksgiving, so less than twenty-four hours after learning that his grandfather had passed away, J.R. and I had packed up Gabriel and our assorted necessities for travel and were on our way. The drive to the small town where much of J.R.'s extended family lives is approximately twelve hours on a good day, assuming all goes well. We made it to West Virginia our first day, approximately eleven hours after we had left home. The following morning we got up, left, and rolled into extremely southern North Carolina shortly before the funeral began in the afternoon. Gabriel was happy to let anyone hold him for the remainder of our visit in NC, J.R. and I reasoned that this was probably due to his having spent a day and a half in the carseat and just being happy to not be confined to it any longer.

Although the drive down went splendidly (taking into consideration the fact that a three and a half month old was on it), the return trip did not go so well. We began our return on Tuesday afternoon, after having visited with J.R.'s sister, who lives in NC, as well as his parents and brother. By the time we reached home on Thanksgiving at around 3:00 in the afternoon, Gabriel had been in "melt down" mode for about a half hour. The moment that we got in the door and I pulled him out of his carseat, however, was a glorious time for him: the crying ceased immediately and he gazed around, with what I presume was immense joy, upon seeing that he was home again.

Of course, the entire trip was not all spent in the car. We visited King's Mountain National Military Park as well as the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The weather included seventy degree days. The trees in the south were in full fall color, making the Appalacian Mountains look exactly like the photographs on postcards. In short, I became a fan of the area. Last February was the first time that I had seen the Appalacians when J.R. and I passed through them on our winter break, and I will admit that I was unimpressed for the most part. I had been spoiled in my past experience with mountains, we went to Glacier National Park for our honeymoon, and the Rocky Mountains as seen on the Going-to-the-Sun Road are the greatest display of the beauty of nature that I have ever beheld.

Without further ado, a few photos from our trip "down South:"

No wonder I think that the Appalacians are beautiful as well now, eh?

A-Hunting He Will Go

Actually, it is "a-hunting he went," now. Today is J.R.'s birthday, he is twenty-four. J.R. has thought always that it is pretty spiffy that his birthday and the opening day of firearm deer season in Michigan coincide. His hunting has resulted in two deer mounted on our walls, a seven-point (among many other deer) that he successfully bagged this morning, and J.R. spending at least the morning of every birthday since age fourteen hunting. To J.R., and many others, November 15 is a holiday, a fact that is summed up rather accurately in Escanaba in da Moonlight, "it's like Christmas - with guns."

Happy birthday, J.R. - I love you, dear!

My Parents' 25th Anniversary

Yesterday my brothers, my aunt, and I hosted a luncheon in honor of my parents' twenty-fifth anniversary of being joined in marriage. Overall, the party was a success. In recognition of their achievement, my parents were honored by family and friends; they enjoyed visiting with said people as well.

Of course, not everything worked out as planned; happily, however, this was through no fault of my own. Approximately 100 people attended the party, our guesstimate had been for 150 people, so my refrigerator now holds a sizable quantity of leftover food. Aunt Della, J.R., Chad, and my friend, Sarah, were an enormous help with things yesterday - I am blessed that they were able to help with things, the party would not have gone smoothly without their assistance.

If I had to decide, I would say that a couple of the photographic highlights of the party would be:

1. How happy my parents looked together:


Congratulations on celebrating twenty-five years together, Mom and Dad!

2. The smaller-sized version of their wedding cake that we had made for the event:


Dad could not really recall what the original cake looked like without looking at a photograph, but Mom recognized the cake and thought that it was really nice that we were able to have it re-created.

I am glad that we were able to do this for my parents, with all that they have done for my siblings and I, they deserve recognition for their sacrifices and achievements over the past twenty-five years, and to be reminded that we are grateful for all that they have done for us. May they be blessed with many more wonderful years together.

Faustina turns Four

Today is my little sister, who happens to be my goddaughter as well, Faustina's fourth birthday. It is hard to believe that it has been four years since I was present at her birth - and that in about a month she will be an aunt when my baby is born. Other than J.R. (who has more chances than Faustina, obviously), Faustina gives "the baby" more hugs and kisses than anyone else. She makes sure to shower me with just as many hugs and kisses, but my tummy (and thus the baby) is given its fair share of affection from Faustina as well. When I told my sisters that I was going to have a baby, the first question out of Faustina's mouth was whether I could still pick her up and hold her. At the time, the answer to that question was yes, but currently Faustina has to settle for sitting on my lap or next to me - which seems to work just as well for her.

Faustina has come a long way in these past four years - from a tiny, seven-pound baby to a rather independent, yet usually very sweet and happy girl. Faustina is rather petite, I remember my parents telling me last year that although Faustina is a pretty average height, she falls into the third percentile of weight compared to other girls her age. I'm not sure that any of my other siblings fell into such a category as children, especially not Miriam (always big for her age), who I can compare Faustina to most easily.

Both of my sisters have their strengths and weaknesses, but despite her age Faustina seems to be ahead of Miriam in terms of neatness. Faustina does not like to sit down to a meal without a napkin (or often, several napkins) handy, whereas Miriam may eat a rather messy meal and not consider a napkin until someone suggests it to her. Both Miriam and Faustina are very caring, many times I have seen them go out of their way, even give up something of their own, to assist another person.

Happy fourth birthday to Faustina Jon-Marie!

Grandma

The past week or so has seen some ups and downs. My baby shower was held last Sunday (May 20). It was nice to see all of the people who came to celebrate my pregnancy and the upcoming birth of our first child. I enjoyed myself, and I think that those who attended did as well. Unfortunately, my maternal grandmother, who has been having health issues lately, also had a heart attack that day. Today, J.R. and I went to visit her. Although she described herself as feeling rather "peppy" compared to how she was feeling a few days ago, I believe that she looked the weakest that I have ever seen my grandmother look. J.R., whose grandmother went through somewhat similar issues before she died, said that the whole situation had an eerie resemblance to what he remembers of his grandmother. We had a nice visit with Grandma, who was happy to see us; she carried on a very lively conversation with us (and everyone else who came into her room). To see Grandma's faith shining at this time is quite inspiring - I hope that if I am ever faced with sufferings such as she is facing, I would cling as closely to God and be able to "offer it up" with the same patience, understanding, and something akin to happiness that I saw in her. J.R. and I left the hospital feeling hopeful, and glad that we had gone to visit Grandma. Things took another turn for the worse this evening, when the doctors discovered that the stint that was put in about a week ago to help with a blockage in Grandma's heart was closing. Thankfully, the doctor was able to put another stint in and patch a vein that was leaking without doing open heart surgery. Hopefully this will be the last surgery that she will need, since the main problem of this week was that she was losing blood from an unknown area (thus the patch) and needed to be given several pints of blood to keep her hemoglobin up. Please keep my grandmother in your thoughts and prayers at this time, my family and I would appreciate it very much.

Miriam's First Holy Communion

Sunday was Miriam's, my seven-year-old sister, first holy communion. She looked very nice in her bright white dress and veil, and her precious smiles on such a momentous day in her life were priceless. After mass, my parents hosted a luncheon in honor of Miriam. It was nice to get a chance to visit with the family and friends who attended, J.R. and I enjoyed ourselves a lot.



This is a photograph of my family, minus J.R. (who was taking pictures that day) and my brother Chad, who was unable to attend.

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Today marks eleven months since J.R. and I were joined in the sacrament of marriage. Many things have changed over the past eleven months, and sometimes I find it hard to believe that I will be holding our new baby in only about two and a half months. Today was my twenty-eight week appointment with the CNM, now that I am in the third trimester, I will begin meeting with her every two weeks. Everything is going well with the baby and I am measuring right on track still. Today was also my one-hour glucose test. The drink itself was not so bad, it reminded me of orange drink from McDonald's, but all that sugary sweetness made my stomach churn a little. I was able to remedy any stomach upset between eating lunch and going about my daily routine, however. By tomorrow afternoon the results will be in, though I am not too worried about failing.

2007 Easter Reflections

I have not posted in a few weeks now, however, life is good overall, the grass is greening up here in Michigan, and God continues to bestow a multitude of blessings upon me.

I had a relatively fruitful lent (being pregnant did not allow me to fast from food in a manner similar to my usual Lenten observances, so I had to be more creative when it came to deciding upon what I would do this lent in order to assist my spiritual growth) and holy week, and I expect that the next forty-nine days of Easter will see spiritual blessings as well. J.R. and I have been completing the Divine Mercy novena together, and look forward to celebrating Mercy Sunday next week.

We spent Easter with J.R.'s family this year. One gold star to his family for planning its Easter celebration well in advance of Holy Thursday (as my family managed to pull together at the last minute). We had a nice time visiting with J.R.'s family, but I have to admit that things are different in how our families celebrate the holidays (a fact that was not so apparent between the two different sides of the family Christmas celebrations that I attended).

A couple of ways in which gatherings are different between our families:

1. The meal. My family is famous for making enough food to feed an army (which is way more food than is needed for most family gatherings). For as long as I can remember the general rule has been that there is tons of food whenever a family gathering takes place with lots of leftovers. Now, leftovers can be both a good and a bad thing. Leftovers equal food that is prepared and ready to go when hunger strikes, but storing all of the leftovers is an issue sometimes and there is the risk of leftovers going to waste. J.R.'s family was able to plan a simple, appropriate Easter meal that was quite good, it was just different from my ordinary experience (which I have a feeling is probably not considered ordinary to many) with the meals partaken of at family gatherings.

2. The size. I have five brothers and sisters, each of my parents had eight siblings; whereas J.R. has one brother and one sister, his father has only one sister, and though J.R.'s mother has a few brothers and sisters, they all hail from the south and are not present at family gatherings as such. To cut to the point, when a family gathering takes place in my family, it cannot help but be good-sized, you would have a hard time keeping a party "small and intimate." It is not a bad thing that J.R.'s family does not have to hunt down a couple of card tables and chairs in order to have seating available for everyone, I actually really liked the fact that not everyone split into groups (as inevitably happens at my family's gatherings) during and after the meal.

At any rate, though our families are different certainly, I am learning to appreciate better the little things that each bring to my life.

Our First Christmas and New Year

J.R.'s and my first Christmas as husband and wife was wonderful. We spent Christmas Eve together and alone for the most part, and began the celebration of the Feast of the Nativity of Christ by attending midnight mass together. After we arrived home, we placed the infant Jesus into the manger of our nativity set. We opened our gifts to one another before we turned in for the night as well (J.R. is not very good at waiting for surprises, both ones that he has planned and are planned for him). On Christmas morning we went to my parents' home to visit for the day, it was one of the most enjoyable Christmases in recent memory. We did not do anything particularly extraordinary, but spending quality time with family is special always.

Our Christmas tree

We spent New Year's Eve with J.R.'s family. It was enjoyable to visit with his parents, brother, niece, and nephew; particularly since their Florida vacation had prevented us from seeing them for over two weeks before Christmas until a couple days after Christmas. At any rate, we rung in the New Year by watching the ball drop, toasting with sparkling grape juice, and setting off poppers; which all added up to a wonderful night. J.R. and I spent most of New Year's day at home together, which we found very relaxing since we had spent the previous (almost) three weeks caring for all of the animals at his parents' house.

Tomorrow will bring the end of the Christmas season with Epiphany and a belated Christmas party with J.R.'s family. All in all, I have had an enjoyable holiday season in which great memories have been made. Still, I look forward to the more normal routine that returns with the end of the holiday celebrations.

It begins...

I have wanted to start my own blog for some time, but never found the time amongst college, marriage preparation, and all of the busy activities in my life. Now, however, I have more free time and plan to become a blogger.

For all those who would like a little background information on me: I am twenty-three years old and married to my wonderful husband of six months, J.R. I am the oldest of my parents' six children, the youngest of whom is only four months old. I am a practicing Catholic who loves her faith very much. I have a degree in theology, as well as another degree that I earned in horticulture before I switched majors (and colleges). I work for the U.S. government currently, but I do not plan on making a career of my job. Finally, I have two horses and a dog that require a fair amount of my time, in addition to my other interests which will become known as I continue to blog.