My Brothers, My Friends

Growing up, I was very close to my younger brothers. We spent tons of time together, and I acknowledge without hesitation that they were my best friends. Even with the closeness and awesome friendship that I shared with my brothers, I could not help but wonder what it would have been like to have a sister who was in the same age bracket as me - what sister-sister friendship could we have shared?

On Christmas, my brother, Chad, had a surprise for us: he and his girlfriend, Tiffany, were engaged. We were surprised, but not in a shocked sort of way. Chad and I have a special friendship, we even have our own "song." Sure, my brother is even more difficult to get a hold of these days, but we are happy for him. Although we have not seen them interact much since they became a couple (they started seeing each other right around when Gabriel was born, and we have been rather busy with being new parents since that time), we know that Chad and Tiffany get along very well and wish them all of the best.

My history with Tiffany goes back approximately eight years, as her sister, Sarah, is one of my best friends (she was the maid-of-honor in our wedding). Though Tiffany is six years younger than us, she has come to be a good friend over the years as well.




Tiffany, me, and Sarah
Halloween, 2006






My other brother, Adam, is engaged as well. He and his fiancée, Carlie, are planning to be wed in the spring. Like Tiffany, Carlie and I have a history as friends - though I have known Carlie longer. Other than Sarah, Carlie was my only bridesmaid who merited the position predicated on friendship alone.




Carlie and me
June, 2006








So, although I was not blessed with a sister in my age bracket (Miriam and Faustina are sixteen and nineteen years younger than me, respectively), it looks like I am going to be blessed with two sister-in-laws who fit the bill. Two sister-in-laws who were friends with me before they entered into relationships with my brothers.




Adam, me, and Chad
May, 2006








I love my brothers so very much - and I wish for them to have holy and happy marriages. I am looking forward to having more nieces and nephews as well.* Sure, I may not spend nearly as much time with my brothers as I used to these days. As I have learned in my own life, however, love in the human person is not limited, so they ought not love me any less as they prepare for their own marriages. I know that I love each of them just as much now as I ever have, and expect that my feelings will remain the same always. I am not "losing" my brothers, afterall, but gaining two "sisters," two friends.







* I have two nieces and a nephew through J.R.'s family. I would also like to mention that this entry in no way negates the fact that I consider my sister-in-law (J.R.'s sister, Angela) a good friend.

My Baby's First Christmas

Our second Christmas as a married couple has been both enjoyable and full of blessings. We have each other, Gabriel, our families, our friends, our health - and we are not wanting for any item that we ought to have, while we have many things that we do not really need.

J.R. has been feeling a little under the weather lately, so that put a bit of a damper on our Christmas celebrations - but we had a splendid time still. We spent Christmas Eve together at home, it was different (I cannot remember going to a Christmas day mass ever), but immensely enjoyable. We went to mass together as a family on Christmas day, and though it interferred with Gabriel's nap schedule, he was a rather delightful baby for the most part. After mass we opened gifts at home, and in the afternoon we visited each of our respective families. It was different, as neither of our families were able to gather all members: my brother had to work on Christmas day, and J.R.'s sister and her family moved to North Carolina over the past year. Hopefully next year everyone will be able to spend time together for Christmas - it just did not feel "right" to not have all of the family together.

As for Gabriel, he had a splendid Christmas, complete with spoiling from his grandparents, aunts, and uncles. The day itself was a bit much for him with all of the activities in which we partook, but he took a few shortened naps and acted like the sweet little boy that he is.


Gabriel enjoyed his first Christmas, and he continues to enjoy his peacock.

Four Months with Gabriel

Gabriel as a three month old turned out to be exactly as I predicted: the "best" month yet. Now that he is four months old, I think that this is the way that life with Gabriel is going to continue.



Gabriel has gained a couple of pounds since I last updated on his growth: he was ten pounds, four ounces at his appointment on Tuesday. He is on the small side still, but growing like a weed. On November 15 Gabriel surprised himself by rolling over for the first time (back-to-tummy). Gabriel had not been a big fan of tummy time until the last few weeks, though he appeared to be spending the majority of tummy time attempting to roll over to his back so that he would not have to be on his tummy any longer. On November 25 Gabriel rolled over, this time in the presence of both J.R. and me, from his tummy to his back for the first time. Since that time, he has pretty much mastered the skill of tummy-to-back rolling, though he has yet to repeat his back-to-tummy roll.


Naps are becoming both easier and more elusive at the same time. Gabriel has gotten better about taking a nap when he is tired, whether we be out or at home. If, however, he takes only a half hour nap, however insufficient it may be, any attempt at getting him to nap further will most likely be futile. I am not very concerned about it, since all three of us are doing well with the current situation for the time being.


In sum, life with Gabriel is joyful. He smiles. He almost giggles. He plays. We love him immensely. Honestly, what would life be without the beauty and blessing of children?

A Fall "Trip"

On the Saturday prior to Thanksgiving J.R.'s maternal grandfather passed away. His grandfather had been battling cancer as well as diabetes, so his death did not come as a surprise. It has been kind of hard on J.R., however. The last time that J.R. saw his grandfather was at our wedding, nearly one and a half years ago, and we had planned on making the trek to North Carolina for a visit over Thanksgiving. The news came that the funeral was planned for the Monday before Thanksgiving, so less than twenty-four hours after learning that his grandfather had passed away, J.R. and I had packed up Gabriel and our assorted necessities for travel and were on our way. The drive to the small town where much of J.R.'s extended family lives is approximately twelve hours on a good day, assuming all goes well. We made it to West Virginia our first day, approximately eleven hours after we had left home. The following morning we got up, left, and rolled into extremely southern North Carolina shortly before the funeral began in the afternoon. Gabriel was happy to let anyone hold him for the remainder of our visit in NC, J.R. and I reasoned that this was probably due to his having spent a day and a half in the carseat and just being happy to not be confined to it any longer.

Although the drive down went splendidly (taking into consideration the fact that a three and a half month old was on it), the return trip did not go so well. We began our return on Tuesday afternoon, after having visited with J.R.'s sister, who lives in NC, as well as his parents and brother. By the time we reached home on Thanksgiving at around 3:00 in the afternoon, Gabriel had been in "melt down" mode for about a half hour. The moment that we got in the door and I pulled him out of his carseat, however, was a glorious time for him: the crying ceased immediately and he gazed around, with what I presume was immense joy, upon seeing that he was home again.

Of course, the entire trip was not all spent in the car. We visited King's Mountain National Military Park as well as the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The weather included seventy degree days. The trees in the south were in full fall color, making the Appalacian Mountains look exactly like the photographs on postcards. In short, I became a fan of the area. Last February was the first time that I had seen the Appalacians when J.R. and I passed through them on our winter break, and I will admit that I was unimpressed for the most part. I had been spoiled in my past experience with mountains, we went to Glacier National Park for our honeymoon, and the Rocky Mountains as seen on the Going-to-the-Sun Road are the greatest display of the beauty of nature that I have ever beheld.

Without further ado, a few photos from our trip "down South:"

No wonder I think that the Appalacians are beautiful as well now, eh?

A-Hunting He Will Go

Actually, it is "a-hunting he went," now. Today is J.R.'s birthday, he is twenty-four. J.R. has thought always that it is pretty spiffy that his birthday and the opening day of firearm deer season in Michigan coincide. His hunting has resulted in two deer mounted on our walls, a seven-point (among many other deer) that he successfully bagged this morning, and J.R. spending at least the morning of every birthday since age fourteen hunting. To J.R., and many others, November 15 is a holiday, a fact that is summed up rather accurately in Escanaba in da Moonlight, "it's like Christmas - with guns."

Happy birthday, J.R. - I love you, dear!

Three Months

Gabriel is now three months old, and I have to admit: this month looks like it will be the best yet. Gabriel has become interested in toys, or anything within his line of vision, now. Naps have improved. We have been able to stay out longer during the day without suffering a massive break down on Gabriel's end. He does better when people other than his parents hold him.

My biggest problem lately has been trying to reset Gabriel's little internal clock to match up with daylight savings time's end. Keeping him up later at night has not worked so far, though when he starts his day by 6:00 am and clearly is ready for bed I cannot bring myself to keep him awake later than he wants to be. I will not complain about such a small thing, however, daylight savings will be back on in early March - a mere four months away. Honestly, morning is my favorite part of the day, so Gabriel helps keep me from missing much of it by sleeping in.

In closing, a photo of the cutest little leopard on Halloween:

24

Not the television series.

Today is my twenty-fourth birthday. Reflecting upon my life, I am rather blessed, rather thankful, and rather happy. I am married and have a child - two of my greatest hopes while growing up have been fulfilled.

J.R. works today, but we will spend some time together once he gets home this evening. I intend to visit my parents, where my mother has offered to give me a birthday lunch during the day.

Gabriel even gave me a surprise birthday gift: sleeping until 8:30 in the morning. I slept until 8:00 (this has not happened since he was born), then I had free time until he woke.

I am going to finish getting ready, then when Gabriel wakes up from his nap we will head out to enjoy the day.

The Long-awaited Photo Post

First day home from the hospital with Mommy






Peaceful little sleeper - J.R. and I think that he looked like a glow worm in his swaddleme





One month old






A sample of his big smiles






Two months old and loving every minute of it

Worse...then Better

The third month of motherhood began rather difficultly. I had a bout with the early stages of mastitis during the first week. It was terrible to deal with, particularly as the primary caretaker of a newborn when I was so physically exhausted that I just wanted to rest. I hope that my personal experience with mastitis never gets any worse than what I have experienced to this point in my life.

Gabriel was congested still when the month began, thus his sleep was not as good as it could have been. After reviewing my books on baby sleep, I convinced myself that I was teaching Gabriel all sorts of bad habits. This bothered me immensely, but with sleep having become such a precious commodity, I decided that we were just going to sleep any way that we could. Then I read what Moxie has to say about babies and sleep, and felt better about how I was doing things. Miraculously, (or possibly not, since Moxie said that it would happen) Gabriel's congested nose, and the time in which he was most likely going through a sleep regression, passed, and the sleep got better without me doing a thing about it. Gabriel decided that going for a walk is a good way to relax and fall asleep. When he nurses to sleep, he often nurses until he is almost asleep, detaches himself, and finishes falling asleep. I still sleep only a few hours at a time, but I find the current situation rather bearable. Now if we just finish getting naps ironed out, things would be running fairly smoothly.

Motherhood: Two Month Update

So, two months in and I realize first-hand that things can be "one step forward, two steps back" in terms of raising a child.

There have been several nights that were awful. I blame the sleep issues, at least in part, on Gabriel's congested nose, which makes its presence known at night particularly. There have been a few nights in which it took about three hours to get Gabriel to sleep. There have been nights in which he was waking up every hour or so. Such nights are hard. Now I understand myself, from experience, the lamentations of parents in regards to their baby's sleep habits. Since things seem to be getting better now though, it has been easier for me to keep in mind that these nights of poor sleep for all are really just a short phase in life.

Being Gabriel's mother is not without repercussions on my own body: I have developed tendonitis in my left hand and wrist, most likely related to the fact that I am right-handed and my poor left hand has had to step up to the plate and work to care for Gabriel after nearly twenty-four years of little activity. So, I have been sentenced to physical therapy and wearing a brace for the next couple of weeks in an effort to reduce my discomfort. Pain aside, the worst part of the whole scenario is that the brace does such a good job stabilizing my hand and wrist that caring for Gabriel has been complicated.

On a more positive note, I really, really like Gabriel's doctor. Her manner with Gabriel is much more agreeable and that of the doctors at the other clinic I took him to in his first week of life: I get to hold him while she examines him, which is easier on both Gabriel and I as it reduces his discomfort (aka crying). She specializes in "alternative medicine," while still working with traditional medicine: meaning that although at his seven-week visit, Gabriel weighed in at eight pounds, a mere five ounces above his birth weight, she suggested that I supplement my diet rather than supplement Gabriel with formula (all without making me feel like a terrible mother). Also, I have felt zero pressure or disapproval from her based on J.R.'s and my decision not to have Gabriel receive immunizations at this time; rather, she supports our decision.

In closing, I wanted to post some photographs of Gabriel, however, J.R. has yet to convert the files or teach me to do so, thus internet viewing of them must wait. J.R. is busy working, often tired, and dealing with allergies right now, so I wait (somewhat) patiently - but I would like to show off pictures of our growing baby still. Especially the adorable photos of him smiling, the cutest milestone yet.

The Move

Moving everything (and setting up to some degree) into our first apartment the week before our wedding was a little difficult, and kept me very busy. It took awhile to settle in. Moving with a six-week-old baby, however, was many times more difficult. I really hope that J.R. and I are able to manage getting our new, larger apartment, with an even greater number of possessions, set up before the holidays (we are raising a newborn here, so no need to set the goal too close and risk complete failure at reaching the goal).

Moving has seemed to mess up Gabriel's sleep schedule. No matter what time Gabriel went to bed at night, I could plan on him waking up for the day at slightly before 7:00 in the morning. Now, however, I am dealing with as early as 5:30 wakings. It has been only a few days though, so I am hopeful that I will be able to shift his schedule so that we can manage no earlier than a 6:30 wake up. Once we can get a little more agreeable sleeping schedule set up, I will try to resume blogging with some coherence and frequency.

One Month of Life with Gabriel

After having completed one month with Gabriel, I am feeling semi-confident about motherhood. Gabriel is growing (though still wearing newborn attire), he is sleeping about as well (at least at night) as the mother of a newborn can hope for, and he reached the developmental milestone of lifting up his head and looking around at less than a week old. We are starting to manage a schedule, and I can manage short errand-running trips without feeling overwhelmed completely.

I credit my ability to feel like I actually accomplish things (albeit not much) most days to two basic reasons:
1. Gabriel is just plain a "good" baby. Sure, he gets fussy when he is hungry or tired (don't we all to some degree?), but he has had a natural tendency to get most of his sleep in during the night since the beginning with short wakings for the most part. He does not usually get much sleep in during the day (and as I result many people, including J.R., perceive him as a rather fussy baby boy), but he and I are getting much better about making sure that he gets more sleep during daylight hours.
2. My reading of The No-Cry Sleep Solution and Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Obviously, I have not had a chance to apply many principles from these books yet, but both have provided me with valuable insight already.

Again, I would really like to include some photos of Gabriel, but I am waiting on J.R. to convert the files still.

Gabriel's Baptism

Gabriel is now the newest, smallest Christian that I know. He was baptized on Sunday, August 19. I think that he was the best-smelling baby in the world for a couple of days with the lovely scent of holy chrism on his forehead.

The readings on the day of the baptism were particularly appropriate for the occasion, though I do not have the time to write a reflection on them now. I think that it suffices to state that J.R. and I have taken on an enormous responsibility (and privilege) in agreeing to raise our child in the faith, and that we also accepted, on Gabriel's behalf, that he would come to know, love, and serve God.

I wanted to post some photographs from the baptism here, and I hope to accomplish the task one day. Since J.R. insists on taking all digital photos in the raw now, however, and Blogger does not allow raw photographs to be uploaded (and I have neither the time, nor the know-how to convert the photos), uploading the aforementioned photos will have to wait.

Two Weeks of Motherhood

After having completed two weeks of motherhood, I feel that things are going relatively well. Sure, I have had my fair share of difficulties in the past two weeks. Although I have heard of many persons having difficulty breastfeeding, I naively thought that I would not face the same issues. I have never been apprehensive over visiting the doctor myself, but the doctor mentioning a potential concern, "to keep an eye on," related to Gabriel and I faced an anxiety that I have never known. Then, of course, my house stands in dissaray currently and my schedule has been shifted around substantially - but these were issues that I expected to face. Overall, I would have to say that the second week has gone much smoother than the first.

I am pretty happy with the sleep situation as it stands. Gabriel will sleep in about two three-hour (possibly longer) blocks during the night (allowing me to function better during the day), and take a couple of naps during the day. I know better than to plan on him sleeping like this always, but I am going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

Gabriel and I have not only survived, but done quite well with J.R. going to work the last two days. We even managed to break out the stroller and go for a walk today. Gabriel seemed to enjoy our little stroll, and I enjoyed spending the half-hour or so outside.

Gabriel is napping now, and as I would like more to show for his nap than my own shorter nap, lunch, and a blog post, I must bring this entry to a close.

Photograph of Gabriel

For now, here is a picture of our baby boy:



More to come, adjusting to motherhood is keeping me really, really busy!

Gabriel James

Gabriel James arrived at 4:40 am on Friday, August 3, 2007. He weighed in at seven pounds and eleven ounces, and measured twenty inches in length. Both Gabriel and I are doing well and have arrived home. I will update again with more details when I have time.

Thank you to everyone for their prayers and well wishes!

Still waiting...

It appears that our baby is rather happy with the current living situation in my uterus, as he or she has not made a debut yet. The baby that I thought we would be holding by the end of July will be an August baby now. I think that I have reached the "I am ready for the baby to be born now phase." My back began aching on Monday, the heat (which is at 90 degrees plus, currently) is getting to me when I spend time outside, and J.R. and I are making encouraging comments to my tummy in an effort to advocate that our baby arrive soon. Despite having slept eight hours the night before, I require a nap in the afternoon now. Additionally, though I am getting a good amount of sleep, I am waking up several times during the night. In short, I am not very comfortable right now and I am ready to begin the next phase of parenthood.

The current plan: try natural ways to induce labor. I walk through stores in town, squat, tailor sit, and do pelvic circles in an effort to engage the baby, among other ways of trying to induce naturally. We are hoping and praying still that our baby arrives, or that I am in labor at least, before it is time for the ultrasound and non-stress test on Friday morning. I fear, on some level, that something abnormal may be found if I make it to that appointment on Friday, and that an induction, or cesearean section may be suggested; procedures which in and of themselves have been known to cause complications. Ultimately, so long as our baby arrives safe and sound, we will be both happy and blessed. We just did not imagine that our baby may arrive two weeks after the estimated due date.

Due Date Plus Five

My appointment with the CNM yesterday went well. The news: everything looks normal and well, the baby will be here any day (I knew this already, but hearing it from the midwife is encouraging), and I am three centimeters dilated. If our baby has not arrived by next Friday, August third, a non-stress test and ultrasound will be performed. We are, of course, hoping that things not reach that point, however. With the lack of contractions I am experiencing right now, perhaps our baby will come tomorrow or Monday. J.R.'s guess was for Sunday or Monday anyway, as Sunday is the full moon. My grandmother thought that tomorrow would be a special day for me to have the baby, as it was her mother's birthday.

J.R., our parents, and I have been receiving phone calls and emails all week inquiring on the status of our baby. No news yet, but, we assure you: we will let you know when there is news to report.

Awaiting Baby

It is now the fourth day past my "medical due date," and still no baby. Actually, I always figured that this baby would arrive "late" according to that calculation. Family members have been calling asking how the baby and I are doing, and it is kind of disappointing to say, "No news, but it cannot be too much longer now." There have been some signs that labor is imminent, but it is not here yet.

I found myself wishing that labor would hurry up and start earlier today. It is not that I am tired of being pregnant (honestly, I am not). I am ready, however, to meet our baby, to begin my new life as a mother, and to stop receiving comments from others on the baby's current lack of arrival. Today I have an appointment with my CNM, when I made the appointment last week, I assumed that: 1. The baby would be here by now, or 2. I would be at the hospital preparing to have the baby, so either way I would not need to go to this appointment. It appears that I was incorrect in making that assumption. At least I am finished working now until our baby is about two months old, though we are still hoping and praying that J.R. finds a good enough job that I will not have to work.

Of course, there have been advantages of our baby coming after the actual due date. Since we did not know when the baby would come, J.R. and I had not made any real plans from the beginning of last weekend until the beginning of next weekend. This has enabled us to truly enjoy our final days of married life, pre-children. We have had the time to get several last-minute items of business in order. No, our apartment is not spotless, nor will "the baby's room" be completely in order until after we move, but things have come leaps and bounds toward me feeling better about our overall preparedness over the past week.

Come what may, I think that we are about as ready as we are going to be. We are, needless to say, really looking forward to meeting our little one, whether it be sooner or later...

Due Date: No Baby Yet

July 23 has arrived, and I am not experiencing anything to make me believe that our baby is going to arrive "on time." As someone pointed out to me, however, 'babies are like wizards: they are never early nor late, they arrive precisely when they mean to.' Thus, I am content with where the baby and I are at right now. Go ahead and take your time, dear little one. I just prefer that you not take too long, because the thought of induction scares me, and I think that it would be better if you come in your own time, rather than what the medical field determines to be the correct time. Honestly, I figure that I will probably be holding our baby in my arms by this time next week. I think that I am in the very early stages of labor, though I recognize that I could be in this stage for awhile yet.

J.R. and I worked on getting things in order around our apartment in preparation for the baby this weekend. Now I actually feel "ready" for the baby, or probably about as ready as a first-time mother can feel. A first-time mother given my situation, anyway. J.R. and I finally found a new apartment, that we were accepted to, last week. We will be moving around the second week of September. The new apartment is larger and we will be saving money, definite advantages with a new baby. The biggest disadvantage of this arrangment is probably that the new apartment will be on the second floor (making it necessary to carry everything up and down stairs), as we are quite happy with the first floor arrangement of our current apartment.

Certainly things are falling into place, and it is only a matter of time before we meet our baby, our precious little gift from God!

One Week to Due Date

So, here I am at the end of my pregnancy, with what I presume will be no more than two weeks until J.R. and I meet our precious baby. Braxton-hicks contractions have become common, but not overly-abundant, in the last week. I finally finished packing my hospital bag over the weekend, with the exception of the items which I'll have to pack once I know that I am in labor. I am "nesting" some as well, but I have not felt any overwhelming urge to make our apartment appear spotless. My tummy has grown to rather large proportions, though I had not realized just how large until I took a good look at some of the tummy pictures that J.R. had taken of me last week. Other than knowing that I am at the end of my pregnancy so the baby will inevitably be here soon, I have not noticed any signs to make me believe that our baby is going to make his or her debut in the immediate future. I am sleeping relatively well and functioning normally for the most part, however, so it is alright with me if our baby waits a bit longer.

Saturday night/Sunday morning marked my first pregnancy dream (or at least the first one that I remembered in the morning, as I am rarely cognizant of my dreams when I wake). I was at the hospital and had the baby (a boy, in the dream), I do not even recall there being any conflict in this dream, just how happy and joyful J.R. and I were with our baby. Not particularly exciting news, but I think that noting my first (and potentially only) dream related to this pregnancy is worthwhile.

In the last days of my pregnancy, J.R. seems to be doing well. He feels a little unprepared to be a father, and he finds it hard to believe that he is going to be caring for his own flesh and blood in the near future, but he is excited as well. He talks to our baby at least a couple of times per day. I'll admit, I find the way that he'll bend over and speak, inches from my tummy, to the baby pretty cute. Both Faustina and J.R., independently of one another, have adopted this method of addressing the baby. Yes, J.R. has his concerns as a father-in-waiting (what new parent wouldn't?), but I know that he will step up to whatever challenges, trials, and the like that we will face, and that he will enjoy being a father, ultimately.

I feel that I am handling the end of my pregnancy well. As I mentioned already, any physical "ailments" that I am experiencing are manageable and not all that unpleasant. As far as being concerned about labor and delivery, I feel that I am facing only a normal (or perhaps lesser) amount of concern, mostly related to the impending "unknown" of birth and the incredible amount of pain that I have heard tell of. I have read books, practiced exercises, and tried to prepare myself for the birth of our baby, however, so I am comfortable with what I will be facing when the time comes. Like J.R., I feel a little unprepared to take on my new role as mother, but I believe that it must be a normal feeling. After all, God has entrusted parents with a serious duty. One thing that bothers me, unimportant as it is in the big scheme of things, is our lack of a formal nursery. We have the necessities (and more) required for a new baby, but with our future living situation unknown as of yet, the baby's dresser and changing table are in storage still (why move, and set them up twice?), and the only clothes that I have organized are the newborn and 0-3 month sizes. As I said, little things, but the nesting/mothering instinct in me would rather things be "picture perfect" before the baby arrives. That being said, I know that everything is going to work out fine, and that our baby will come home to a comfortable home, where he or she will be well-cared for and loved tremendously.

Thirty-eight Weeks

Today marks week thirty-eight of my pregnancy, meaning that there remain a mere two weeks until my baby's due date. I am not quite ready to have this baby outside of my body yet, however. When I met with the CNM a little over a week ago, she made a comment about how it would be fine for the baby to come any time now. I know most babies that come early survive with few or no complications, but I cannot help thinking that the baby is developing still. I would like another week or so to get things ready around the house as well, to be honest.

Of us six children, I was the only one who came "early," but at one day before my due date, I could hardly be considered early. My sister Faustina came on her due date, and the other four of my siblings were all late by at least several days. I am kind of hoping that I'll be like my mother, and have my baby right around the due date.

Last week J.R. began questioning me on a daily basis whether I thought that I was in labor. Over the past several days, this questioning has risen to several times per day. My parents have begun questioning how I am doing as well over the past few days, they even made sure to call and ask how I was doing this morning before they left to go on vacation for the next few days.

It was so hot yesterday (95 degrees and humid) that J.R. would not allow me to help take care of the animals. Actually, I cannot blame him, and it is good that he is looking out for me, since I have been known to overdo things. After spending more time than I ought to have on my feet and in the heat on Friday and Saturday for Dad and Mom's anniversary party, my feet had swollen. The swelling went down overnight, but going to mass on Sunday caused them to swell right back up. Fortunately, they returned to normal once I returned home to our air conditioned apartment. Although it is over 90 degrees again today, I have not experienced any swelling, which I attribute to my having spent almost the entire day in air conditioning. Whether I be in the comfort of home or at work seems to matter not, so long as I stay out of the heat.

I am feeling quite well at this point in my pregnancy: no pains, not excessively tired, and still able/willing to complete the majority of my regular tasks. I was not feeling quite so chipper on Saturday evening, but now that I have rebounded all is well. I am, of course, hoping to keep this up until (and after, as much as possible, whether it be a reasonable hope or not) the baby is born. I am looking forward to meeting our baby soon, but for now I am enjoying being pregnant still.

My Parents' 25th Anniversary

Yesterday my brothers, my aunt, and I hosted a luncheon in honor of my parents' twenty-fifth anniversary of being joined in marriage. Overall, the party was a success. In recognition of their achievement, my parents were honored by family and friends; they enjoyed visiting with said people as well.

Of course, not everything worked out as planned; happily, however, this was through no fault of my own. Approximately 100 people attended the party, our guesstimate had been for 150 people, so my refrigerator now holds a sizable quantity of leftover food. Aunt Della, J.R., Chad, and my friend, Sarah, were an enormous help with things yesterday - I am blessed that they were able to help with things, the party would not have gone smoothly without their assistance.

If I had to decide, I would say that a couple of the photographic highlights of the party would be:

1. How happy my parents looked together:


Congratulations on celebrating twenty-five years together, Mom and Dad!

2. The smaller-sized version of their wedding cake that we had made for the event:


Dad could not really recall what the original cake looked like without looking at a photograph, but Mom recognized the cake and thought that it was really nice that we were able to have it re-created.

I am glad that we were able to do this for my parents, with all that they have done for my siblings and I, they deserve recognition for their sacrifices and achievements over the past twenty-five years, and to be reminded that we are grateful for all that they have done for us. May they be blessed with many more wonderful years together.

Independence Day: The Story of Our Engagement

The fourth of July has different meaning for different persons, and I would wager that if you are not from the United States (and it is not your birthday), July the fourth is "just another day" to you. For the majority of my life, Independence Day was a day that Dad had off of work, so it would be spent with family, possibly friends, watching fireworks, and spending time outdoors. Of course July fourth has its historical and political significance for me as well, but it never ranked up there with the religious holidays of Easter and Christmas. On July 4, 2005 J.R. and I became engaged to be married, so over these past two years the holiday has taken on additional significance in our lives.

In 2005, Independence Day fell on a Monday (long weekend from work, hurray!), and while I cannot recall all that my weekend consisted of that year, I do recall the hours prior to when we became engaged and J.R.'s proposal well. In the late afternoon, my family, J.R., and I attended a house-warming/Independence Day party at my cousin's house. Later that evening, J.R., my brothers, and I attended a bonfire and fireworks extravaganza (courtesy of J.R. and my family) at our friends', Sarah and Tiffany's, home. Although J.R. is in a pretty good mood usually, with the occasional exceptions of when he is tired or has been facing trials (I think most people's mood falters some in those situations), he was in an extremely rare, pleasant, happy (almost giddy) mood that night. There is something infectious and delightful about the warm summer night and celebratory atmosphere, along with the bright mortars coloring the sky, that makes the night of July fourth extra-special (kind of like that scene in Sandlot where all of the boys are entranced by the fireworks as they play baseball), even romantic under the right circumstances. I imagine that a number of couples have become engaged on July fourth, though I have never heard of another couple doing so.

The whole group sat around the campfire chatting and having a splendid time, but the hour grew late, and as J.R. and I were scheduled to work the next morning, we decided that it was time to leave. I had rode over to Sarah and Tiffany's house separate from J.R. with my brothers, and as such my brothers decided to stay and visit awhile longer. Honestly, I cannot say that J.R.'s proposal came as a surprise to me (we had discussed our relationship and the possibility of marriage prior to this time), and most obviously, J.R. made up one of the weakest excuses of his life in order to have a "reason" to stop by his house on the way home that night. I believe his excuse had something to do with how he needed to stop and check on his dog, however, he lived only about five minutes from my parent's house, so it would have taken him only ten extra minutes to drop me off and then go home to check Rosie.

J.R. drove up the long driveway to his house, and I saw a strange glow coming from the grass in front of his house immediately. As J.R. had learned earlier in our courtship, I enjoy glowsticks (have you ever heard of anyone else celebrating their twenty-first birthday by playing cards by glowstick light?). With this in mind, J.R. had purchased many glowsticks and used them to write "Marry Me" in the grass. J.R. had me get out of his Blazer, close my eyes, and he led me over to the glowing spot in front of his house. He knelt down in front of me, pulled out the engagement ring, and told me that I could open my eyes. I know that J.R.'s proposal was probably the most eloquent and perfect speech of his life (though neither of us can recall exactly what he said, as he had neither practiced it or written it down, he just knew what to say and how to say it when the time came), in which he declared his love for me, and his desire that we spend the rest of our lives together; the look in his eyes at that moment very similar to that which he had in his eyes when we were joined in the sacrament of marriage, eleven months later. I told him "yes" immediately, and then he placed the engagement ring on my finger, explaining to me that the crosses on the ring were to symbolize our commitment to God and to one another. I remember him standing up and us sharing an embrace - we felt a great peace and joy concerning the new stage of our relationship that we had just entered into.

Next, J.R. and I went to share our good news with our families. We told his family first, his mother and brother were genuinely happy for us, though J.R.'s father had gone to sleep already, so J.R. told his father about our engagement the following morning. Then J.R. took me home, where we shared the news of our engagement with my parents. I remember my mother being very happy and excited for us (she enjoyed telling the story of how we got engaged for some time thereafter), and my father congratulated us heartily as well. My brothers had not gotten home yet, but they arrived shortly thereafter, and then we shared our big news with them. My parents had the presence of mind to take a photograph of us on the day that we became engaged (actually it was after midnight at this point, but the photo was taken within about an hour of when J.R. proposed to me). J.R. and I told my little sisters the next day after work, though as a two-year-old and a five-year-old it took a little bit of processing before they grasped what this meant. Most of the remainder of our family and friends were told within the following week. We began marriage preparation with Fr. Timothy within a week or two of becoming engaged, and the rest is history.

Working Woman Woes

Yesterday my supervisor spoke with me concerning my position and maternity-related issues. The maternity issues did not strike me as being the meat of the conversation so much as, "We were thinking that maybe we need to find a man to fill the position, so let us know whether you think you are capable of doing x and y." "X and y" being fleet-related tasks.

So questions began racing through my head: If I decide that I am not capable of doing "x and y" does it mean that I "quit" this job, thereby making me ineligible for unemployment? If this is not the case, will I be eligible for unemployment although I would have been going on maternity leave? I am getting a feeling that I may not be able to win in this situation. J.R. thinks that it sounds like sexual discrimination, afterall, I have been doing the job for over six months without having ever heard a complaint concerning me (or my abilities) over the course of my employment. I had a whole mess of questions going through my mind related to the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) as well, but then I realized that no amount of worry is going to help the situation. God will take care of J.R. and I, one way or another, He always does.

When I spoke to J.R. at lunch time, he could tell that something was bothering me. Since the something that was bothering me was work, and I was sitting in my cube (where anyone nearby could hear me), I would not tell him what was bothering me. J.R. went through a list of things that could possibly be wrong: "Is work getting to be too much for you?" "Do you think that you're in labor?" "Did something happen to someone in your family?" He guessed lots of different things, and by the time he guessed correctly, I had realized that even if the morning's conversation with my supervisor was bothering me, my life was not looking nearly as dreary as it could be.

So, here I sit, pondering an uncertainty that I would rather not be pondering, particularly with everything else that is on my plate right now. I had planned on working up until my due date, taking my maternity leave, and returning to my job afterwards, should J.R. be unable to find something more stable and better paying between now and then. Actually though, I am doing pretty well. Sure, I'd rather not have to establish myself in a different occupation if needed - but I knew from day one that this job was only temporary. Sometimes we become motivated to move on to something else (another part of God's plan for our lives) only when we are forced to, and if our lives had not had the upset with which to motivate and teach us, we may have never bothered. Yes, I find myself in a inconvenient situation potentially, J.R. and I may face a great deal of stress before everything is said and done, but I know that God will provide; we will be fine in the end.

One Month to Due Date

I am one month away from my due date today, officially.

I'll be honest, even though it is harder to get good sleep, it seems like my clothes do not fit quite right, and I have to watch how much weight I lift or carry, I think that I am going to miss being pregnant a little bit. It is awesome to feel the baby move within me, and to hear the heartbeat. On the same note, I look forward to meeting the little person who has been growing within me for the past thirty-some weeks.

People have been asking me if I am ready to have the baby already, and it seems so early to me. I would really like for this baby to go full-term, and being a little past my due date does not even bother me at this point in time. I suppose that perhaps I may feel differently about this matter if everything was set up and ready for the baby to arrive, but since J.R. and I do not even know where we will be living when August comes around at this point in time (we put in applications at a couple of places this week, hopefully we will hear back soon), I know that it will be better for the baby to stay right in my womb a few weeks longer.

I'll be honest, sometimes I look at all that I would like to have done before the baby arrives and feel a little overwhelmed, though I realize that everything will work out fine in the end - there are people out there who are much less prepared than us in terms of baby supplies and living arrangements who raise happy, healthy babies. My desire to have things in order before the baby arrives has spurred me on to some "nesting" lately, but since it is harder for me to move than in the past with my growing tummy and with the whole idea of moving in mind, I am not in a driving-J.R.-nuts-mode with the way that I must organize and clean the apartment in preparation for baby.

J.R. seems to be getting more excited about the arrival of the baby as well. We went to a wedding last weekend and I could tell that he really enjoyed talking about our bundle of joy who will be making an appearance shortly. J.R.'s interest in the assortment of baby goods that we have collected is somewhat different from my own (interested in everything), however. He has shown more interest in the practical baby gear, (car seat, stroller, bathtub, etc.) and I get the distinct impression that he looks at the cute baby clothing to humor me only. I guess I cannot blame him, clothing tends to be something that women are more interested in than men in general. Last night he did tell me that it is important that I pick out what outfit we are going to have the baby's first picture taken in and bring him or her home from the hospital in, though I know that this is inspired due to his love of photography largely.

So, thirty days and counting...

Faustina turns Four

Today is my little sister, who happens to be my goddaughter as well, Faustina's fourth birthday. It is hard to believe that it has been four years since I was present at her birth - and that in about a month she will be an aunt when my baby is born. Other than J.R. (who has more chances than Faustina, obviously), Faustina gives "the baby" more hugs and kisses than anyone else. She makes sure to shower me with just as many hugs and kisses, but my tummy (and thus the baby) is given its fair share of affection from Faustina as well. When I told my sisters that I was going to have a baby, the first question out of Faustina's mouth was whether I could still pick her up and hold her. At the time, the answer to that question was yes, but currently Faustina has to settle for sitting on my lap or next to me - which seems to work just as well for her.

Faustina has come a long way in these past four years - from a tiny, seven-pound baby to a rather independent, yet usually very sweet and happy girl. Faustina is rather petite, I remember my parents telling me last year that although Faustina is a pretty average height, she falls into the third percentile of weight compared to other girls her age. I'm not sure that any of my other siblings fell into such a category as children, especially not Miriam (always big for her age), who I can compare Faustina to most easily.

Both of my sisters have their strengths and weaknesses, but despite her age Faustina seems to be ahead of Miriam in terms of neatness. Faustina does not like to sit down to a meal without a napkin (or often, several napkins) handy, whereas Miriam may eat a rather messy meal and not consider a napkin until someone suggests it to her. Both Miriam and Faustina are very caring, many times I have seen them go out of their way, even give up something of their own, to assist another person.

Happy fourth birthday to Faustina Jon-Marie!

My Busy Life

Much to my dismay, I realized that it has been nearly two weeks since I last blogged. In short, things have been busy. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been comparing auto insurance quotes (only to find that what we've got is about as well as anyone can do for us at this time, but at least I know that for a fact now), and searching for new apartments. The lease on our apartment is up at the end of July, and though we recognize that moving during the same month that I am due is not ideal, neither would be moving with a newborn - or paying an extra $100/month rent (for not signing a new lease) on top of the increased cost of renting our apartment as of August 1st. With me out on maternity leave (and us not really wanting to send me back to work with a new baby), and J.R. having just started a full-time, temporary position, rent is a very good area for us to try to cut costs on in order to make our budget more "safe" during these big changes in our lives. So, in order to give a proper thirty day notice in case we do decide to move, J.R. and I have been working on apartment hunting rather diligently. We looked at a place yesterday that we did not care for much compared to our current apartment, and tomorrow we look at another place. The apartment that we view tomorrow seems rather promising, as the amenities, appliances, etc. seem quite similar to what our current apartment has.

With only a little over five weeks until the baby arrives and my life as I know it changes forever, there is much to be done; though it is a slow process. I organized the gifts that we received after the baby shower, but I have yet to take an inventory of things and determine what I ought to have on-hand for when the baby comes home. This weekend J.R. and I will be getting things ready to move into a storage unit, since it is a necessity that we move some of our unused belongings (actually, almost exclusively J.R.'s unused belongings, which I am getting tired of seeing packed in boxes since before we were married - if you can leave items packed in boxes for that long, do you really need them?) out of the baby's "room" - a term I use loosely, since we plan on the baby being in our room for quite awhile. Having a lot of things moved into the storage unit before we move should make the whole process of moving easier anyway.

This is the thirty-fourth week of my pregnancy. Other than the fact that when I am working outside in the heat I swell a little usually, I seem to be fairing quite well with less than six weeks to go before my due date. Last weekend J.R. and I toured the hospital birthing center, I am glad that we did in order to see the rooms and have the general routine explained to us before it comes time to deliver the baby. Also, I have been reading quite a lot on "natural birth" lately, and am hopeful that I will have a drug-free birth, barring any extenuating circumstances. Later this afternoon I have an appointment with my CNM, I always enjoy hearing our baby's heartbeat and getting an update on how things are progressing.

There you have it, a brief update (with some rambling) on the busy life of this expectant mother.

Our First Anniversary

Today is the one year anniversary of J.R. and I being joined in holy matrimony. I have to admit, the past year has been an incredible journey that has seen some tremendous changes in my life. Other than the one semester that I lived on campus during college (and I went home every weekend), I lived with my family up until my wedding day. Thus, living "on my own" has been a change in itself, without mentioning any of the changes that married life brings with it.

You may wonder, "what has been the biggest change in my life over the past year?" I think that I can sum it up in one word: sacrifice. No, I would not say that I have been called to make any tremendous, completely life-altering sacrifices yet (unless pregnancy counts), but there are little things on a regular basis. Just as "Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her," (Ephesians 5:25) J.R. and I make sacrifices, though certainly smaller, for one another.

With this in mind, however, and even with all of the ups and downs of married life, being joined to another in the sacrament of holy matrimony is a truly beautiful and wonderful state in life. Being married to J.R. is where I am meant to be, and it brings me a joy unlike others. I would not trade it for all the riches of the world.

Grandma

The past week or so has seen some ups and downs. My baby shower was held last Sunday (May 20). It was nice to see all of the people who came to celebrate my pregnancy and the upcoming birth of our first child. I enjoyed myself, and I think that those who attended did as well. Unfortunately, my maternal grandmother, who has been having health issues lately, also had a heart attack that day. Today, J.R. and I went to visit her. Although she described herself as feeling rather "peppy" compared to how she was feeling a few days ago, I believe that she looked the weakest that I have ever seen my grandmother look. J.R., whose grandmother went through somewhat similar issues before she died, said that the whole situation had an eerie resemblance to what he remembers of his grandmother. We had a nice visit with Grandma, who was happy to see us; she carried on a very lively conversation with us (and everyone else who came into her room). To see Grandma's faith shining at this time is quite inspiring - I hope that if I am ever faced with sufferings such as she is facing, I would cling as closely to God and be able to "offer it up" with the same patience, understanding, and something akin to happiness that I saw in her. J.R. and I left the hospital feeling hopeful, and glad that we had gone to visit Grandma. Things took another turn for the worse this evening, when the doctors discovered that the stint that was put in about a week ago to help with a blockage in Grandma's heart was closing. Thankfully, the doctor was able to put another stint in and patch a vein that was leaking without doing open heart surgery. Hopefully this will be the last surgery that she will need, since the main problem of this week was that she was losing blood from an unknown area (thus the patch) and needed to be given several pints of blood to keep her hemoglobin up. Please keep my grandmother in your thoughts and prayers at this time, my family and I would appreciate it very much.

The Summer of Threequels: Three Movies as I See Them

As far as the entertainment department goes, J.R. and I have seen all three of the big "thirds" (Spiderman, Shrek, and Pirates of the Caribbean) that came out this month. Before this month, it had been at least a couple of months since I had seen a movie at the theater. Perhaps J.R. and I are enjoying this last round of "freedom" before the baby arrives and we cannot go out for an evening so easily as we have been able to up to this point in time. Maybe we wanted to see how the eagerly-anticipated (and possibly last installments) of the
movies played out. Quite likely, J.R. follows movies a little more closely than is healthful and I am along for the ride. Point of proof: the Part III that I am looking most forward to is The Bourne Ultimatum, which is not scheduled to come out until August 3, when I should have a brand new baby and may or may not actually be able to view said movie in the theater (though I have hope since I have seen tiny, well-behaved babies in car seats at the last couple of movies that I have attended, and there is always the chance that some kind soul may offer to babysit).

For what it is worth, my reviews of the aforementioned movies, without spoilers:

Spiderman III: I'll be honest, I may or may not have gone to see this movie if it was not for J.R.'s (and some other friends')
enthusiasm about the movie in general. Yes, I had seen the other two Spiderman movies, but only one time each at the theater when they were released originally, meaning that my comparison of the quality of any of the Spiderman movies to one another could be seriously flawed due to my lack of memory pertaining to them. Unlike J.R., however, I felt that this Spiderman was about the same level of quality as the other two (perhaps one who has not read the comic books can better enjoy the movies). I will admit that the Sandman was not essential to the plot of the movie, but it had
satisfactory plot unveiling and conflict resolution, so I thought that it was pretty good, as long as you enjoy that sort of movie.

Shrek the Third: While it had its cute and funny parts, again, I thought that the quality of this movie was about the same as its predecessors. This was the movie that I saw the most children attending of the three, but I would question its appropriateness for children. Yes, the movie is animated and for this reason appeals to children, but it is done in such a way that adults are supposed to "get" some parts of the movie that children would presumably not notice. This movie was fairly straightforward, I did not notice any unnecessary plot points, and there were no real surprises. Overall, pretty good - I liked it
better than Spiderman III.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End: Like the Spiderman movies, I have only seen the Pirates of the Caribbean movies one time each, but I believe that my memory serves me better in regards to these movies since I watched the first two last summer. I have heard three main complaints about this movie: 1. Too many plot points; 2. Jack Sparrow does not appear until about 40 minutes into the movie; 3. The movie is too long (over two and a half hours). As for the too many plot points issue, neither J.R. nor I had a problem following what was going on in the movie, and we both agreed that all things pretty much "worked out" in the end. As for Sparrow's delayed appearance, again, it worked out. Based on the ending of the second movie, I expected some of this movie to be spent tracking him down. And as for the movie length, I did not even know when I went to watch the movie that it was so long, and it was not a movie that "dragged on and on," so I was surprised actually to look at the clock when I came out of the movie and discover that it had been almost three hours since the movie had started. Again, a good movie, I would say that it was as good as the second movie, though I think that I liked the first one the best.

Of the three movies, I would say that Pirates of the
Caribbean was my favorite. Our baby had the best reaction to At World's End (or at least its soundtrack) as well. Throughout the main/final fight scene, the baby "danced" around rhythmically to the music. J.R.'s favorite movie was Shrek the Third, we both agreed that Spiderman III was our least favorite. So there you have it, a brief synopsis of the three threequels according to me (with a little input from J.R.).

Thirty Weeks

For whatever reason, unknown to me, my sleep seems to have improved as of late. Perhaps I have adapted to my growing tummy and the fact that I need to learn to sleep despite its presence or I am going to face a very long, tiresome next ten weeks. Perhaps there is another reason, I may never know, but I am grateful for the increase in sleep certainly.

Wednesday was my thirty week appointment with the CNM. Everything seems to be progressing well. My tummy is still measuring exactly on track for where I am in the pregnancy, and the CNM thinks that the baby has turned to a head-down position already (something that makes me happy, since the idea of a breech baby does not excite me).

Last Thursday (May 10) marked the first really powerful "kicks" from the baby. Now I quite often see my tummy move markedly when the baby is moving. J.R. has noticed this phenomena as well.

As for my increasing tummy size, I am now to a point where I either need to wear maternity clothing, or clothing that had some extra room before I was pregnant, and I have found that my skirts, etc. with an elastic waist fit fine still as of this writing. During the times when I manage to forget that my stomach is growing at a rather rapid rate, I am usually brought back to reality by someone at work, since at least one person per day asks me how I am doing or when I am due now.

All in all, I am feeling well, am comfortable, and able to function in all of my normal capacities for the most part, so I am feeling pretty good about this pregnancy right now; hopefully it will stay that way. Besides my tummy's size, the only things that have affected me much up to this time are: weight restrictions (somewhat limiting as a horse owner), my need for a little more rest than before, and my appetite (which has either increased since the beginning of the third trimester, or the fact that my stomach cannot function quite normally with a baby taking up much of its normal living quarters is affecting me). Honestly, with only a few things that are even having an affect me, I cannot help but feel blessed to be having a relatively active and healthy pregnancy.

Fr. Timothy

The week after Easter we learned that our parish priest, Fr. Timothy, was scheduled to move to another parish which is over an hour away from where we are currently living. Although I did not find the news surprising (a bright, young, enthusiastic priest with an STL in theology is not going to stay in a village parish forever), J.R. and I cannot help feeling a little sad to see him go. Fr. Timothy is the priest that spent hours and hours with us during our engagement as we prepared for marriage, and it was he who presided over our wedding mass; we had hoped that it would be Fr. Timothy to baptize our first child as well, though we recognize that a valid baptism is a valid baptism and look forward to meeting our new parish priest soon.

Last Sunday, May 6, we wished Fr. Timothy farewell. We had a pleasant conversation with him, in which we discussed many topics, including his new parish, our baby, and the importance of Christian names (as well as the sad reality that so many people do not seem to recognize the importance of this today). Fr. Timothy has congratulated us many times on the upcoming birth of our child, and seems to rejoice in the fact that J.R.'s and my marriage has "taken," as evidenced by the fact that we will be parents less than fourteen months after we were joined in marriage. Yes, we will miss Fr. Timothy certainly, but we hope to visit him occasionally at his new parish, and look forward to his (very) occasional visits to our parish. We know that God has called him onward to do great things in his new parish as he has in our parish, and our new priest, Fr. Dennis, surely has been sent to our parish as part of a greater plan as well.

Miriam's First Holy Communion

Sunday was Miriam's, my seven-year-old sister, first holy communion. She looked very nice in her bright white dress and veil, and her precious smiles on such a momentous day in her life were priceless. After mass, my parents hosted a luncheon in honor of Miriam. It was nice to get a chance to visit with the family and friends who attended, J.R. and I enjoyed ourselves a lot.



This is a photograph of my family, minus J.R. (who was taking pictures that day) and my brother Chad, who was unable to attend.

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Today marks eleven months since J.R. and I were joined in the sacrament of marriage. Many things have changed over the past eleven months, and sometimes I find it hard to believe that I will be holding our new baby in only about two and a half months. Today was my twenty-eight week appointment with the CNM, now that I am in the third trimester, I will begin meeting with her every two weeks. Everything is going well with the baby and I am measuring right on track still. Today was also my one-hour glucose test. The drink itself was not so bad, it reminded me of orange drink from McDonald's, but all that sugary sweetness made my stomach churn a little. I was able to remedy any stomach upset between eating lunch and going about my daily routine, however. By tomorrow afternoon the results will be in, though I am not too worried about failing.

Sleep Update

It is touch and go pertaining to my sleep lately. I have had a couple nights in which I fell asleep and slept just fine, a couple of nights where I could not fall asleep easily, and a few mornings in which I woke up early and could not fall back to sleep. Thus far (knock on wood), there have been no repeats of last Friday when I both could not fall asleep and then woke up too early. Despite my difficulty sleeping, I seem to be functioning well, however. So, despite the fact that I do not like not being able to fall asleep sometimes, as long as I am able to get some good sleep, things seem to be working out just fine. Additionally, I have found that I tend to sleep pretty well on the nights following the nights when I slept horribly. Waking up earlier even has its advantages, such as: having time to prepare and eat a nutritious and filing breakfast, not having to rush my morning routine in order to avoid being late for work, and having time to accomplish something around the house or in town before I head to work, to name a few.

In other pregnancy-related news, I do not think that I have mentioned how much of a sweetheart J.R. has been in relation to my pregnancy lately. J.R. was there to help me out in the early days when the morning sickness was no fun, has happily discussed baby names with me along the way (still no picks, however), and attended some of the prenatal appointments with me - but aside from the ultrasound where he saw pictures of the baby (which he enjoyed very much), he has not had real contact with the baby except through me, until the first time that he felt the baby move. Although I do not know for certain, it seems to me that it was right around the first time that J.R. felt the baby move that he started to get excited about having a baby really. I have a hunch that women, who have contact with the baby growing within their womb from day one, quickly develop an attachment to their child and feel like a mother even before their baby is born. In general though, it is harder for men since they are neither physically nor emotionally as close to the baby as their wives, and tend to not feel much like a father until the baby is born. This is the way that it has worked out for J.R. and I, in this pregnancy, at least on some level.

As a final note: Several people at work mentioned my pregnancy to me this week, so either I am starting to look pregnant or word is getting around of said fact. I tend to believe that it is a mixture of both.

Maternity Clothing

For the sake of keeping records, this is an interesting milestone to note: this week (Week 26) of my pregnancy marks the first time that I have worn maternity tops. I have not been wearing maternity tops exclusively yet, but I am getting large enough that they are becoming more comfortable than my roomier, non-maternity tops (with the exception of my regular, every day t-shirts, which are appropriate for neither work nor mass anyway). If I am ever blessed with another pregnancy, it will be interesting to note when I meet little milestones in this pregnancy versus any subsequent pregnancy. I have gotten several comments about how I am not very big yet, but my tummy was measuring right on track at my last appointment.

And now for my brief discussion of maternity clothing, in bulleted format:

- I really like that maternity tops are cut longer than traditional tops! I have always tried to buy shirts that are cut a little longer than seems to be popular because I absolutely cannot stand bending over or reaching for something and feeling my back or tummy exposed - as long as my tummy does not get too big, I should not have a problem with this for the next several months.

- Many otherwise attractive maternity tops and dresses show much more cleavage than I would like to display to the general public. Perhaps I have not looked in the right places, but it did take some searching for me to find a dress, that I liked, to wear to my sister's first holy communion, weddings, and other special occasions this summer.

- Maternity pants and skirts are so comfortable! Even before I was pregant, I was a big fan of comfy clothes, and I have been known to sacrifice style for the sake of being comfortable. Even when J.R. and I were in the earliest stages of our courtship, when most women are busy dressing to impress, I would wear an old t-shirt and pajama bottoms if that was what I felt like wearing.* Thus, I have taken quite naturally to comfy maternity clothes.


*J.R. has admitted, however, that the fact that I did not feel the need to constantly dress to impress him, evidencing that I was not vain or overly concerned with my looks, was actually a quality that attracted him to me even more.

Restless Nights

Unless things change soon, I am going to blame my growing inability to get a good night's rest on my pregnancy. I have pretty much always, with the rare exception of when I cannot get my mind to slow down enough to allow me to fall asleep, been able to lie down and fall asleep in short order, up until this week. After being restless and taking awhile to fall asleep on Monday night, I have taken to staying up until I feel tired rather than turning in when I feel that it is "appropriate" to do so. The method of staying up until I am quite tired seems to help only minimally, however. Even though I have been having a problem falling asleep lately, once sleep and I meet, my slumber is wonderful, at least at this time. In addition to my finding that it is more difficult to fall asleep lately, I routinely wake up around 6:00 am, finding that a bathroom visit is necessary. Normally I do not have a problem falling back asleep after this waking, but this morning I never returned to sleep. Thus, I find myself running on approximately five hours of sleep. I am not feeling too tired today, but I know that I did not get enough sleep, and that it would not be best to run on five hours of sleep per night for the next three months. I have been using a body pillow in an attempt to make myself more comfortable at night, though I do not think comfort is the major issue here, as I am comfortable sleeping on either my stomach (despite its enlarged size) or my side. Any advice or insight from those who have ever dealt with sleeping problems (particularly pregnancy-induced sleeping problems) would be appreciated. My new plan of action is, if my body will accept it, to turn in early tonight, and hopefully my body will not wake until its usual 6:00 am-ish. I would not mind resetting my sleeping clock, particularly if that is what it takes for me to get a good night's rest. Additionally, I really like the early mornings, they may be my favorite time of day. With a baby on the way, this sleep schedule would probably be wise to adopt anyway. Any way you cut it, I am hoping to catch some better zzzz's in the near future.

Baby Update

As far as my pregnancy goes, things are progressing normally. My tummy has grown to the point where I am most comfortable in my roomier tops (maternity shirts are not a necessity) and either elastic waist or maternity bottoms, but maternity clothing has not yet become an essential element of my everyday wardrobe. Despite the fact that I am wearing non-maternity shirts still, I am showing. This fact was evidenced yesterday when a lady at a store, who I had never met before, congratulated me on my pregancy.

I am getting a good night's sleep on a regular basis (something that the midwife asks me about at every appointment), and do not have any trouble sleeping on my stomach if that is what I desire. I really am grateful for these little things, as I am sure that they make my pregnancy much more enjoyable than it would be without them.

On Wednesday, J.R. felt the baby move for the first time. It is not that the baby does not move much, which is not true at all, as I feel the baby moving multiple times a day and even the midwife felt the baby move at my last appointment. Rather, whenever I would mention to J.R. that the baby was moving, he would place his hand on my tummy, only for the baby to become shy and stop moving. After going through weeks of this, J.R.'s patience in waiting for the baby to move had dwindled, and, after so many failed attempts, his interest in feeling the baby move was no longer at its peak.

Questions concerning our baby are starting to come in now. The most popular are probably "Do you know what you're having?" and "Do you have any names picked out?" The answer to both is no. Although we have a list of names that we like, J.R. and I have not come up with anything conclusive as to what we would like to name our baby. My little sister, however, has picked out names that she thinks would do nicely for our future bundle of joy: Michael, for a boy, and Bernadette, for a girl. Unlikely though it is that we are going to pick one of these names, I give Miriam credit for being able to decide upon baby names in such a timely fashion.

Guesses have started coming in as to the baby's gender now, too. My father has guessed boy, and, though I recognize that he has a 50% chance of being correct, his average when it comes to guessing a baby's gender is only 25%. Dad guessed that I would be a boy, then that my brother would be a girl, that my other brother would be a girl, he did not even try to guess for my two little sisters after batting zero for three, and then, on his sixth child, my father correctly guessed boy. My mother in law, who, based on the old wive's tales that she uses to determine a baby's gender tells me that she has never guessed incorrectly, has guessed girl. J.R. is hoping for a boy (directly related to passing down the family name and having a son to do boy things with someday), but I do not believe that he has put in an official guess as to the gender. Now, though truly I desire only to have a healthy baby and would be happy with either a boy or a girl, I have a feeling that this baby is a girl.

At any rate, to sum things up: I am pretty happy with my pregnancy right now, things are progressing well, and I look forward to meeting this little one in about three and a half months.

2007 Easter Reflections

I have not posted in a few weeks now, however, life is good overall, the grass is greening up here in Michigan, and God continues to bestow a multitude of blessings upon me.

I had a relatively fruitful lent (being pregnant did not allow me to fast from food in a manner similar to my usual Lenten observances, so I had to be more creative when it came to deciding upon what I would do this lent in order to assist my spiritual growth) and holy week, and I expect that the next forty-nine days of Easter will see spiritual blessings as well. J.R. and I have been completing the Divine Mercy novena together, and look forward to celebrating Mercy Sunday next week.

We spent Easter with J.R.'s family this year. One gold star to his family for planning its Easter celebration well in advance of Holy Thursday (as my family managed to pull together at the last minute). We had a nice time visiting with J.R.'s family, but I have to admit that things are different in how our families celebrate the holidays (a fact that was not so apparent between the two different sides of the family Christmas celebrations that I attended).

A couple of ways in which gatherings are different between our families:

1. The meal. My family is famous for making enough food to feed an army (which is way more food than is needed for most family gatherings). For as long as I can remember the general rule has been that there is tons of food whenever a family gathering takes place with lots of leftovers. Now, leftovers can be both a good and a bad thing. Leftovers equal food that is prepared and ready to go when hunger strikes, but storing all of the leftovers is an issue sometimes and there is the risk of leftovers going to waste. J.R.'s family was able to plan a simple, appropriate Easter meal that was quite good, it was just different from my ordinary experience (which I have a feeling is probably not considered ordinary to many) with the meals partaken of at family gatherings.

2. The size. I have five brothers and sisters, each of my parents had eight siblings; whereas J.R. has one brother and one sister, his father has only one sister, and though J.R.'s mother has a few brothers and sisters, they all hail from the south and are not present at family gatherings as such. To cut to the point, when a family gathering takes place in my family, it cannot help but be good-sized, you would have a hard time keeping a party "small and intimate." It is not a bad thing that J.R.'s family does not have to hunt down a couple of card tables and chairs in order to have seating available for everyone, I actually really liked the fact that not everyone split into groups (as inevitably happens at my family's gatherings) during and after the meal.

At any rate, though our families are different certainly, I am learning to appreciate better the little things that each bring to my life.

Concerning My Job

Today I was working on my computer at work, and though I did not feel inspired particularly, decided that it was time to post on my blog again. You may be wondering, "Amanda is at work and has time to post on her blog, how does she manage that?" Thus, I will tell you exactly how I manage it: I am an administrative assistant, I have tasks that I am assigned to do every day, but once I have finished with those, so long as there is not anything additional to assist with, I have free time on my hands. I like to think of my job as being similar to an insurance policy: sometimes it gets used and sometimes it does not, but you want to have it in case you need to use it. At first, it would drive me crazy to have free time on my hands at work, since there was always something to do at my previous jobs, but in the three plus months that I have worked here I have learned to adjust to my down time at work by finding things to keep myself busy. My cubicle stays pretty clean and the storage shelves are relatively organized, all things considered. Though it may sound like a terrible waste of my employer's resources to some, I am at peace with my use of time at my current job since I am accomplishing everything that is expected of me and everyone is content with the quality of work that I am doing. I have received glowing reports on my progress as an employee even.

Although I cannot know for sure yet, since spring has only been giving us peaks of herself so far, I have a suspicion that the most difficult aspect of this job for me is going to be the fact that I work indoors. The other jobs that I have held for any length of time were related to horticulture (well, this job is too, but it is administrative so the link is not as visible), so there was a healthy dose of the outdoors included in my work. I have a feeling that as the weather gets warmer and the sun shows itself more, I will start yearning to spend more time outside and less time inside. At least my job is part time and not strenuous work, two factors which should give me more time to enjoy outside than my previous jobs have allowed.

In other job-related news, J.R. and I are planning on starting a landscape design, installation, consultation, and maintenance business this spring. Landscaping businesses tend to be quite successful in our area, so we are hopeful that ours will be as well. Success should not be a problem considering that we both have horticultural experience, attended Michigan State University, which is one of the top-ranked horticulture colleges in the country, and many people with out horticultural knowledge are able to run lucrative landscaping businesses. Now, I realize that some people are getting concerned probably at the thought of a pregnant lady working in landscaping, but I promise not to do anything that may endanger either my or the baby's safety, and I doubt that J.R. would let me do so anyway. Besides, there is nothing potentially harmful for me when it comes to creating landscape designs or recommendations, so hopefully I will have plenty to keep me busy with those and will be able to help with the less physically-demanding landscaping activities outside sometimes. Additionally, in all likelihood I will still be working part time at my current job until July, so that will be a time-limiting factor when it comes to how much time I have to put into the physically intense jobs that go along with landscaping.

Dante's Inferno Test

I do not believe that I have ever mentioned it on my blog, but I read Dante's Divine Comedy in high school. I went on to take a semester-long course (which became one of my favorites, though I was not a literature major) on the Divine Comedy in college, where I came to appreciate and understand the work much better. Today I took the Dante's Inferno test online, though I recognize that I am not out of the proverbial woods yet when it comes to salvation, it was an amusing test. Additionally, however little the test means in actuality, it is nice to be told that I am headed toward purgatory, since it leads to heaven, which is my prefered way to spend eternity.

My test results:

You are one of the lucky ones! Because of your virtue and beliefs, you have escaped eternal punishment. You are sent to Purgatory!

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Purgatory:
You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.


The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test