Working Woman Woes

Yesterday my supervisor spoke with me concerning my position and maternity-related issues. The maternity issues did not strike me as being the meat of the conversation so much as, "We were thinking that maybe we need to find a man to fill the position, so let us know whether you think you are capable of doing x and y." "X and y" being fleet-related tasks.

So questions began racing through my head: If I decide that I am not capable of doing "x and y" does it mean that I "quit" this job, thereby making me ineligible for unemployment? If this is not the case, will I be eligible for unemployment although I would have been going on maternity leave? I am getting a feeling that I may not be able to win in this situation. J.R. thinks that it sounds like sexual discrimination, afterall, I have been doing the job for over six months without having ever heard a complaint concerning me (or my abilities) over the course of my employment. I had a whole mess of questions going through my mind related to the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) as well, but then I realized that no amount of worry is going to help the situation. God will take care of J.R. and I, one way or another, He always does.

When I spoke to J.R. at lunch time, he could tell that something was bothering me. Since the something that was bothering me was work, and I was sitting in my cube (where anyone nearby could hear me), I would not tell him what was bothering me. J.R. went through a list of things that could possibly be wrong: "Is work getting to be too much for you?" "Do you think that you're in labor?" "Did something happen to someone in your family?" He guessed lots of different things, and by the time he guessed correctly, I had realized that even if the morning's conversation with my supervisor was bothering me, my life was not looking nearly as dreary as it could be.

So, here I sit, pondering an uncertainty that I would rather not be pondering, particularly with everything else that is on my plate right now. I had planned on working up until my due date, taking my maternity leave, and returning to my job afterwards, should J.R. be unable to find something more stable and better paying between now and then. Actually though, I am doing pretty well. Sure, I'd rather not have to establish myself in a different occupation if needed - but I knew from day one that this job was only temporary. Sometimes we become motivated to move on to something else (another part of God's plan for our lives) only when we are forced to, and if our lives had not had the upset with which to motivate and teach us, we may have never bothered. Yes, I find myself in a inconvenient situation potentially, J.R. and I may face a great deal of stress before everything is said and done, but I know that God will provide; we will be fine in the end.

One Month to Due Date

I am one month away from my due date today, officially.

I'll be honest, even though it is harder to get good sleep, it seems like my clothes do not fit quite right, and I have to watch how much weight I lift or carry, I think that I am going to miss being pregnant a little bit. It is awesome to feel the baby move within me, and to hear the heartbeat. On the same note, I look forward to meeting the little person who has been growing within me for the past thirty-some weeks.

People have been asking me if I am ready to have the baby already, and it seems so early to me. I would really like for this baby to go full-term, and being a little past my due date does not even bother me at this point in time. I suppose that perhaps I may feel differently about this matter if everything was set up and ready for the baby to arrive, but since J.R. and I do not even know where we will be living when August comes around at this point in time (we put in applications at a couple of places this week, hopefully we will hear back soon), I know that it will be better for the baby to stay right in my womb a few weeks longer.

I'll be honest, sometimes I look at all that I would like to have done before the baby arrives and feel a little overwhelmed, though I realize that everything will work out fine in the end - there are people out there who are much less prepared than us in terms of baby supplies and living arrangements who raise happy, healthy babies. My desire to have things in order before the baby arrives has spurred me on to some "nesting" lately, but since it is harder for me to move than in the past with my growing tummy and with the whole idea of moving in mind, I am not in a driving-J.R.-nuts-mode with the way that I must organize and clean the apartment in preparation for baby.

J.R. seems to be getting more excited about the arrival of the baby as well. We went to a wedding last weekend and I could tell that he really enjoyed talking about our bundle of joy who will be making an appearance shortly. J.R.'s interest in the assortment of baby goods that we have collected is somewhat different from my own (interested in everything), however. He has shown more interest in the practical baby gear, (car seat, stroller, bathtub, etc.) and I get the distinct impression that he looks at the cute baby clothing to humor me only. I guess I cannot blame him, clothing tends to be something that women are more interested in than men in general. Last night he did tell me that it is important that I pick out what outfit we are going to have the baby's first picture taken in and bring him or her home from the hospital in, though I know that this is inspired due to his love of photography largely.

So, thirty days and counting...

Faustina turns Four

Today is my little sister, who happens to be my goddaughter as well, Faustina's fourth birthday. It is hard to believe that it has been four years since I was present at her birth - and that in about a month she will be an aunt when my baby is born. Other than J.R. (who has more chances than Faustina, obviously), Faustina gives "the baby" more hugs and kisses than anyone else. She makes sure to shower me with just as many hugs and kisses, but my tummy (and thus the baby) is given its fair share of affection from Faustina as well. When I told my sisters that I was going to have a baby, the first question out of Faustina's mouth was whether I could still pick her up and hold her. At the time, the answer to that question was yes, but currently Faustina has to settle for sitting on my lap or next to me - which seems to work just as well for her.

Faustina has come a long way in these past four years - from a tiny, seven-pound baby to a rather independent, yet usually very sweet and happy girl. Faustina is rather petite, I remember my parents telling me last year that although Faustina is a pretty average height, she falls into the third percentile of weight compared to other girls her age. I'm not sure that any of my other siblings fell into such a category as children, especially not Miriam (always big for her age), who I can compare Faustina to most easily.

Both of my sisters have their strengths and weaknesses, but despite her age Faustina seems to be ahead of Miriam in terms of neatness. Faustina does not like to sit down to a meal without a napkin (or often, several napkins) handy, whereas Miriam may eat a rather messy meal and not consider a napkin until someone suggests it to her. Both Miriam and Faustina are very caring, many times I have seen them go out of their way, even give up something of their own, to assist another person.

Happy fourth birthday to Faustina Jon-Marie!

My Busy Life

Much to my dismay, I realized that it has been nearly two weeks since I last blogged. In short, things have been busy. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been comparing auto insurance quotes (only to find that what we've got is about as well as anyone can do for us at this time, but at least I know that for a fact now), and searching for new apartments. The lease on our apartment is up at the end of July, and though we recognize that moving during the same month that I am due is not ideal, neither would be moving with a newborn - or paying an extra $100/month rent (for not signing a new lease) on top of the increased cost of renting our apartment as of August 1st. With me out on maternity leave (and us not really wanting to send me back to work with a new baby), and J.R. having just started a full-time, temporary position, rent is a very good area for us to try to cut costs on in order to make our budget more "safe" during these big changes in our lives. So, in order to give a proper thirty day notice in case we do decide to move, J.R. and I have been working on apartment hunting rather diligently. We looked at a place yesterday that we did not care for much compared to our current apartment, and tomorrow we look at another place. The apartment that we view tomorrow seems rather promising, as the amenities, appliances, etc. seem quite similar to what our current apartment has.

With only a little over five weeks until the baby arrives and my life as I know it changes forever, there is much to be done; though it is a slow process. I organized the gifts that we received after the baby shower, but I have yet to take an inventory of things and determine what I ought to have on-hand for when the baby comes home. This weekend J.R. and I will be getting things ready to move into a storage unit, since it is a necessity that we move some of our unused belongings (actually, almost exclusively J.R.'s unused belongings, which I am getting tired of seeing packed in boxes since before we were married - if you can leave items packed in boxes for that long, do you really need them?) out of the baby's "room" - a term I use loosely, since we plan on the baby being in our room for quite awhile. Having a lot of things moved into the storage unit before we move should make the whole process of moving easier anyway.

This is the thirty-fourth week of my pregnancy. Other than the fact that when I am working outside in the heat I swell a little usually, I seem to be fairing quite well with less than six weeks to go before my due date. Last weekend J.R. and I toured the hospital birthing center, I am glad that we did in order to see the rooms and have the general routine explained to us before it comes time to deliver the baby. Also, I have been reading quite a lot on "natural birth" lately, and am hopeful that I will have a drug-free birth, barring any extenuating circumstances. Later this afternoon I have an appointment with my CNM, I always enjoy hearing our baby's heartbeat and getting an update on how things are progressing.

There you have it, a brief update (with some rambling) on the busy life of this expectant mother.

Our First Anniversary

Today is the one year anniversary of J.R. and I being joined in holy matrimony. I have to admit, the past year has been an incredible journey that has seen some tremendous changes in my life. Other than the one semester that I lived on campus during college (and I went home every weekend), I lived with my family up until my wedding day. Thus, living "on my own" has been a change in itself, without mentioning any of the changes that married life brings with it.

You may wonder, "what has been the biggest change in my life over the past year?" I think that I can sum it up in one word: sacrifice. No, I would not say that I have been called to make any tremendous, completely life-altering sacrifices yet (unless pregnancy counts), but there are little things on a regular basis. Just as "Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her," (Ephesians 5:25) J.R. and I make sacrifices, though certainly smaller, for one another.

With this in mind, however, and even with all of the ups and downs of married life, being joined to another in the sacrament of holy matrimony is a truly beautiful and wonderful state in life. Being married to J.R. is where I am meant to be, and it brings me a joy unlike others. I would not trade it for all the riches of the world.